How To Handle My Kids’ Throwing Tantrums Or Acting Out?
What should you do if your child is acting out?
Our kids have strong emotions that they want to express, and throwing tantrums or acting out is one way for them to show it. Seeing your child throwing tantrums or acting out can be upsetting, and sometimes our way to solve it is to yell at them, stop them from throwing tantrums, or punish them, which does not help at all.
In today’s episode, I will share how I handle my kids when they are acting out or throwing tantrums and I will also give you helpful tips that you can apply when they start acting out.
How I Handle My Kids’ Big Feelings
Something happened at school that upset my child, and on top of that, when he got home from school, he wanted to go to the playground, but his father said no, so it all added up. As a result, he became agitated and began acting out.
When they got home, my child began to act out. He began to say hurtful things, and that's when I started to intervene and find a way to interact with him without invalidating his feelings.
It is our responsibility as parents to help them understand that things can be very upsetting at times. I gave him some examples of what was bothering me and told him, "that's why, when I'm having a hard time and when I'm really upset, I come home and I ask you for extra hugs." He then understood and began to calm down.
Ways On How To Handle Your Kids' Throwing Tantrums
When it comes to responding to our children's tantrums, self-regulation is pivotal. You must understand that sometimes transitions of feelings are extremely difficult for children, or if something happens at school, they are unable to cope with it.
I also believe that this is a healthy approach to the situation. When our children throw tantrums, we have two options: we can get angry at them and say something bad or punish them for expressing their feelings, or we can validate their feelings and work together, and the second option is the best way for me.
Here are the ways how I validate my children's feelings so that we can work together.
Find the right timing to intervene
Self-regulate yourself and remind yourself that your child is not giving you a hard time, rather than your kid is having a hard time.
Try to break the ice by having a conversation, or by asking him leading questions, and then providing the space for him to express his feelings.
Once he expresses his feelings, acknowledge and validate their feelings that it's okay to be upset, so when we validate their feelings, they understand that it's okay to have big feelings.
End the conversation by setting boundaries so that they will understand that it's okay to be upset, but it's not okay to hurt someone.