Trust and Inspiration in Parenting

As parents, we are not going to be with our kids 24/7 for the rest of their lives. Instead of commanding and controlling their lives all the time, we should rather equip our kids with the tools they need to empower themselves to make the choices that are best for them. 

In today’s episode, I will be talking about how I was impacted by the book “Trust and Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others” by Stephen M. R. Covey. I highly recommend it since you are going to love the insights. It is going to inspire you to lead. You will learn how to become a trustworthy and inspired leader so your kids can then rely on you and learn from you to do the same.

What is command and control leadership?

One of the concepts that the author, Stephen M. R. Covey, talks about in the book is ‘command and control leadership’, which is an authoritative leadership approach. The author states that this leadership style is outdated and it doesn't work. For example, in your work history, there's a good chance that at some point you felt like just a cog in the machine. Like maybe you were just stuck behind the desk dealing with mindless, repetitive tasks all day. Maybe you felt out of touch and unsure whether your efforts were really making a difference. 

How does that make you feel? Right. There is a likelihood that you were under the style of leadership that's known as command and control. This tends to happen in our careers or in our workspace, where we feel like we work as machines. We basically do what we are told from commands coming from the top and do what we're asked to do without any thought of our own.

Ways command and control affects our children

This same command and control leadership style affect our children immensely, especially at school. The schooling system is highly controlled because the teachers cannot go outside the curriculum. The kids feel like they have to complete everything they are commanded to do. 

Similarly, it actually goes deeper into our parenting method, or as I call it the “Old School of Parenting”. This type of parenting also comes from a command and control style of leadership. This is when parents command their children what needs to be done instead of explaining what and why they must do them. A parent's intention is just to get the job done because they said so without taking into consideration how it affects the children.

This is why children find what they believe are better choices outside of the home. Outside of this parenting structure, they feel heard, seen, and valued by other children.

Being a genuine leader to your kids

This is why the majority of the time parents say that their child doesn't tell them what's happening. Parents notice that their kids would rather talk to their friends because they feel they've kind of in a trap of control and command at home. Generally human beings, including our kids, like a genuine type of leadership. This type of leadership is called being led and inspired. Parents can inspire and can trust their kids with their choices and their decisions by way of support. 

Parents have to trust their children’s decisions and their choices but also gently guide them to better ones. For instance, what if a child’s decision is to play video games for five hours straight? I'm not saying to inspire them to do that or trust their decisions of playing these video games. I am talking about how you want to lead instead.

You can choose to lead with boundaries, with inspiration, and by empowering them to make good choices. You can give your kids facts if they're old enough to understand by showing them what's good for them and sparking conversations.

Key Takeaway

Again, lecturing your children or telling them what to do is not going to work. As a leader, you have to show your child that you are entrusting them with the choices they make and guiding them towards better ones. As parents, choose to inspire your kids and lead your home with open communication and cooperation instead of commanding and controlling.

To learn more about control and command leadership, please read:  “Trust and Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others” by Stephen M. R. Covey

This book was a huge inspiration for me. However, I am aware that for parenting, there's no one size fits the solution. Even if you read all the books out there about parenting, it might not work for you because maybe it's not meant for your family dynamic. 

This is why I am inviting all parents to my parenting community called The Parenting Lab. Here you will be empowered to create your own solution. You will have a coach side by side to guide you and to get the resources out of you.

I truly believe that everyone is resourceful. We all know the answers as our own parenting coaches and these resources will be found in our monthly workshops, and action guides where you will learn how to implement the strategies and the concepts that you're learning in your parenthood.

If you're ready, just tap on the link and hop on the membership!