Getting Rid Of Society’s Standards To Tune In With Our Kids

How is parenting nowadays? How do we stay in tune with our kids? 

I noticed that today’s society has the power to dictate how we parent our children. And oftentimes, these standards overpower our judgment. But, are these standards really helpful? Does it make us better parents? Does it keep us attuned to our children’s needs?

In this episode, I would like to share with you why we need to get rid of society’s standards and how we can stay in tune with our kids. And what I learned in the process.

Choosing Comfort Over Standard

During our visit to India recently, we attended a wedding in the family. And attending a wedding meant wearing our cultural clothes. And I am always about comfort when it comes to my kids. I let them wear what they want, what makes them comfortable. But I forgot all about that during the wedding. My nieces and my 4 year old son made a fuss when it was time for them to wear their Indian clothes. It was so frustrating that I forgot about focusing on what’s important,my child and not me.

At that moment it was all about me. I wanted my son to look the part, I wanted him to conform to Indian standards. I forgot that it’s all about my son enjoying the wedding and making him feel comfortable. I had to reflect for 5 minutes and really think about what’s important and what is really valuable. And I choose my son. 

I didn't need to control my child, because my son has his own identity, and he has the freedom to make a choice. A choice to wear the clothes he wants and are comfortable with.

I did bring the kurta with me to the wedding just in case my son felt cold. And it did get cold, and I was able to put the kurta over his shirt with his permission. At the end of the day, both our needs were met. We both enjoyed the wedding, and the most important of all, my son was comfortable and I avoided being a controlling parent.

What I Learned

What I learned from this incident is beyond clothing or comfort. What I learned is choosing connection over what the society or culture dictates. It’s about bending those standards to tune in with our child. That is far more important than any standard.

Our goal as parents is to provide a safe space and environment to our kids, so that they know they can open up to us when they really need to. In this case it’s as simple as feeling uncomfortable, but this will pave a way for them to be open when it comes to challenges in the future.