Phrases To Use To Remind Yourself Be A Self-regulated Parent

As we go through our parenting journey we encounter different challenges. May it be good or bad, it is inevitable. But, how do we handle it? What should we do or say to our children in those situations?

Last episode, we talked about how to identify anxious behaviors and how to identify symptoms and signs in our children when they're feeling anxious. Today, I will share some reminders to help you regulate yourself when your children are anxious.

How Self-Regulation Helps

Self-regulation is the capability to understand and manage your behavior and your reactions to feelings and things happening around you. It includes being able to regulate reactions to strong emotions like frustration, excitement, anger, embarrassment and anxiousness. 

Now, how does it help? All kinds of emotions are contagious, whatever feelings you show them, they will catch it and vice versa. Given the unavoidable cases as seeing your child 

What to do when your child’s anxiety is making you feel anxious?

The goal isn't to eliminate anxiety, but to help a child manage it. How can we manage it when we are getting anxious? I like to use different phrases to self-regulate when I’m feeling anxious. Today, I’ll share 9 phrases to use in this situation.

1. This feels hard because it is hard.

Acknowledging your fear and weakness. Validates your emotion.

2. This too shall pass

Remind yourselves that you have done this. It’s important to tell ourselves we made it before and we can do it again.

3. I am my child's guide

Your child needs you to guide them. We should not think that we can control our child's behavior, instead be a guide for them.

4. My child is not giving me a hard time, my child is having a hard time

Don’t think you are against your child. It is important for us to remind ourselves that your child is struggling and they need help. 

5. It's okay to ask for help

Reach out to your partner, to your friend, or your family member. Always remember that you're not alone.

6. I am doing the best I can at this moment

Always remind yourself that you're doing a great job and you’re getting better than last time.

7. Whatever emotions I'm feeling is part of me

Knowing your emotions is one way of self-validation this way you  control your anxiety and focus on your child’s struggles.

8. I am not alone

Always find a way to reach out, share it with your friends or have a conversation with your partner about it.

9. It takes a village to raise a child

We were never meant to raise children on our own. Parents need support and they need it at every stage of parenting so look around you and don't be afraid to communicate.

Advice For Parents

What helps me might not help you, but these are some of my tried and tested phrases and things and affirmations to remind myself during the heat of the moment.

It always helps me regulate myself and when I self regulate myself, I can bring the regulation and my calm energy during the heat of the moment with my child. This helps them co-regulate and bring calm to themselves. I hope this was helpful for you and your child!