Transform Anger With Super Vision Glasses
It’s the beginning of school again, and usually this is when everything feels triggering. And usually we think these triggers are coming from outside or from our kids' behavior. But in reality, every trigger arises from within.
Three Categories Of Triggers
There are three categories that triggers can fall into, and they are not external. The first one could be our internal feelings or an internal trigger state. Second, is the behavior of our loved ones that creates a reaction externally. And third, are feelings about life in general or life’s circumstances.
Triggers Come From Within Us
Triggers come from within us. It comes from a wound in our childhood, this replays in situations we encounter with our kids in the present which we mistakenly take for triggers. Triggers don’t exist from the outside, they come from within.
Triggers Appear On Stressful Situations
The beginning of school for our children is an example of a stressful situation. Specifically because of the changes or adjustments needed to be made by you and your child’s schedule. Like waking up early in the morning, packing lunches, or preparing for school. And most of the time, it’s difficult for kids to get into the routine, especially on the first few days. This causes frustration on your side, which eventually comes out as anger.
According to Dr. Shefali, in her Awaken Family Book. It's always about the role that we recreate from childhood, it's about the mask that we have, which we have worn for so long. And these triggered states are the signs that we're actually in a false self, state, and we really need to do something about it.
Triggers Are Founded On Fear
When we get triggered, it’s because we’re afraid. Afraid that we’re not good enough. Fear ignites the false self. And as a result, it comes out as anger. In our desire to control a situation, we express it in anger.
Transform Anger With Super Vision Glasses
Super vision glasses, as Dr. Shefali calls it, allows us to go beneath the surface and see the feelings beneath. When your kid’s having a tantrum for example, instead of getting easily angered by the situation, try to go beneath the reason for the tantrum. It could be because he/she is tired or maybe hungry. Once you get to the bottom, you can better address the situation. Empathize with your child, be patient, and control yourself not the situation.
We need to respond consciously during these conflicts. It’s hard, but with constant practice it becomes easier. When caught in the same situation, remind yourself that it’s not about your child, it’s about your old self. By doing so, you will learn to transform anger into self-control.
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