4 Levels Of Love - Take Care Of Yourself For Your Kids
Do you ever feel like children have been put on this planet just to test our patience? Sometimes, we just want to yell at them, right? The problem is that while yelling at our kids might make us feel good in the short term, it doesn't do any good for you or for your children. So what can we do instead?
Parenting is about the parent
One important thing that we need to realize is that parenting is not all about our children, it should be about us parents. And by bringing your needs and your desires back into the game, you feel better and your relationship with our children gets better.
Taking care of yourself is one of the many tips that I learned, and it has been a game-changer. Taking care of our needs and our desires has a direct connection on how to be a better parent.
So let's discuss this: Who is the most important person to you other than your spouse? Your kids? Even if you have a long list, none of the answers are correct. Because it has to be you.
You have to be the most important person to yourself. It has to be you. You have to be the best parent you can be by loving yourself. And the reality is that you can't take care of your family if you're unable to take care of yourself first.
Four levels of love
To illustrate this point I would like to talk about the four levels of love. I bet it will change the definition of love for you, just as it did for me. We wouldn't want our kids to wait for validation or wait for love to come from somebody else, we will always want our kids to love themselves. That’s why this is so important.
We would want our kids to find joy in love from within. In order for them to do that, it has to start from us. They have to see us doing it. If they see us parents taking care of ourselves, they would learn it better, and you won't have to tell them to take care of themselves, because they see you.
So let’s take a look at the four levels of love:
Level 1: Love yourself for your own benefit
Level 2: Love others for your benefit
Level 3: Love another for their benefit
Level 4: Love yourself for the benefit of others
Why self care is important
As a parent, we want to care for our own health and love, so that our children can benefit. It's all about their self worth and happiness from within, which will allow us to give our children the stable and loving relationship that they need to nurture them. When you love yourself, when you take care of your needs, desires and dreams instead of shoving them under the rug, you can self-regulate. You can respond instead of react. You can be more proactive instead of reacting towards your kids' behavior.
Let's start working towards our self-regulation. Let's start loving ourselves. Let's start fulfilling our needs, and start doing self care, and focus on loving yourself.
Do you want to learn more conscious parenting strategies? Follow me on instagram @risewithmital and download my FREE parenting journal.